suburban sexpot

going thru the motions

hi!  long time, no blog.  i'm trying to get my ass back into gear and water the desert-like blog i have going here... namely, try and romance myself back into sharing all the dirty thoughts i always have running around in my head.

maybe romance isn't the right approach... maybe i need to just cut to the chase and convince myself that a quickie each day is better than nothing at all.

so here it is.  my blog quickie: 

via wonderlandcode831

sidenote: did chris rock get it wrong?  from no sex in the champagne room...

If a girl has a pierced tongue - she'll probably suck your dick
	
If a guy has a pierced tongue - he'll probably suck your dick

i'm not seeing a dick, but i am seeing a guy with a pierced tongue... i want to know what that feels like licking up my puss.

things that should be taught in sex-ed classes: part 1

 Play with her clit

Once you're sure she's ready, place the tip of your finger onto her clit. This will be easier if her legs are apart. Begin by massaging her clit lightly. Stroke it in a circle at first. Then try the other directions, up/down or left/right. Ask her which she prefers.

-infosex.com

this is perfect!  can you imagine... mass education on how to fondle with finesse.  everyone would have the power of the orgasm right on their fingertip.

condi takes a break from talking about wmd's and gives a quickie lesson on how her poon advisory system reaches 'high' when she puts her no-no finger in her pants.

barbara tries to one-up rosie with her 'ring-around-the-rosie-clit-move

sidenote: babs has a secret weapon with the anal-beads she is wearing around her neck.

he totally needs no caption.

you -know- martha learned so much more in her time in the pokey than how to make a grilled cheese with a paper-bag and a light bulb.

it's a good thing.

HNT - the week before christmas

and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, well... except me, taking my clothes off a little.

RANDOM UNATTRACTIVE PEOPLE WHO WANT YOUR SEXUAL ATTENTION (part 1)

and his wife

Sure the nightie is from Wal Mart but the wood paneling is to die for.

Dream

I'm in Wal-Mart. There's a large merry-go-round, the kind that you find on a playground, not the musical kind with horses. It's surrounded by racks and racks of clothes. My step-sister wants to ride the merry-go-round, but she insists that she must do it with her blouse unbuttoned. She unbuttons her blouse, grabs a handle and begins to run in circles. I grab a handle too, and we run for what seems like a very long time, but I don't get tired because it doesn't even feel like my feet are touching the ground. She leaps onto the merry-go-round, and holds the handle with one hand and leans way back, reaching out into space with her free arm. Her long yellow hair streams out behind her and her bared breasts are fat and quite lovely. I get on the merry-go-round, and admire her body as it stretches outward. Her skirt clings to one side of her ample hips and thighs, and flows from her other side.

Then some guy on the sidelines (have people been standing there the whole time?) smacks me on the ass three times--very fast hands-- and the dream dissolves.

Argh.

HNT - wet teeshirt style

sorry for the absence from blogville, but i'm a per-diem employed housewife, and my work schedule has gotten the best of me.

so enjoy today's HNT with my bodacious tata's under a wet shirt and come back in the next few days for updates and the 1st intallments of the sex column.

How Bad Did You Want That Erection? Part 2

In addition to the Caverject's needle there's also another interesting form of erection enhancement.

Let me introduce you to MUSE (medicated urethral suppository) which as it sounds is a tiny little pill you stick inside your penis.  No, I'm not kidding.    While it's not as bad as the needle from Caverject I'm not really sure this the answer to most men's problems with Viagra.

How Bad Did You Want That Erection?

I had no idea that they were still selling injectibles in this era of Viagra and it's oral imitators but well, I think Pfizer's drug Caverject speaks for itself.   Obviously the little blue pill doesn't work for everybody. 

And yeah, your man really loves you if he takes it this far.

from Pfizer's website

Carmen Electra Rides The Sybian

Howard Stern proves time and again why creepy guys get laid: Lotsa Effort and Money.

My favorite part is Howard entoning, "You can handle it.  You're an actress."

Click here for video.

Alien Sex!

The other night, at about 4 am, I heard a strange sound. It sounded like... a squirrel getting electrocuted in the powerlines (Tchhhk-tchhkkkk-tccchhhkkkkk-tcchhkk-tchkk-) simultaneously with a faintly electronic beep- powering up (wooOOP!) and powering down (WOOoop!) at half second intervals. But it sounded like music; it sounded like singing.

I heard it come up my street. It woke me out of a deep sleep. Being the curious cat I am, I got out of bed and peered first out of one window, then the other. I saw nothing. Then a voice in my head said (very loudly and unmistakably) Get Back Into Your Bed. Right Now.

I got back into my bed and listened as the sound marched back and forth in front of my house. I held my breath and listened intently, eyes wide, holding perfectly still, with the covers pulled up to my chin. Then the central heat turned on and muffled the details. As the heat turned off, I heard the sound moving away down the street.

I lay there in my bed, terrified and excited, and wondered if I would ever be able to sleep. Just as I was drifting off, I heard the sound approach again. I pressed the record button on my phone, trying to catch something, and then the stupid heat turned back on.

I listened to the recording yesterday, and I can't hear anything. But I know something was out there.

What do you think? Of course, my dirty mind naturally leaps to the idea of how cool it would be to fuck someone from elsewhere in the cosmos.

I'm lucky that I haven't seen many movies about aliens, because I'd probably have a much different take on the whole thing. I'm aware that in Hollywood, alien sex invariably results in alien pregnancy, which invariably results in the body of the host mother splitting wide open in the birthing process. That sounds terrible. But for me, sex is creative, not procreative, so maybe my non-human lover and I could agree to use some safer sex precautions.

I had never even considered alien fucking until two summers ago. My gay boyfriend Clay turned me on to the idea. He is a fantasy maker extraordinaire.

It all started out with an absurdly large, veiny, vibrating dildo in the traditional pasty caucasian shade. I received the dildo as a gift from one of those guys who get off on seeing a woman impale herself on too-large objects. I didn't even take it out of the packaging for the longest time, because it icked me out. I had never had anything that large stuffed in my cunt. I'm kind of a dildo snob-- I prefer silicone, and I never, ever, buy flesh toned toys. But it came to me as a gift, and I'm the kind of girl who could find an eventual use for a frighteningly large dildo, even if just for re-gifting.

My inevitable moment of weakness arrived late one night. The dildo had a suction cup on the base, so I spent a good part of the night humping the rim of my bathtub-- the place where I decided to stick it so I could straddle the monster hands-free. I was pleased and surprised to find that it fit in my pussy quite tightly, (eventually, with a lot of patience and a ton of lube) stretching me to the point where I felt absolutely full. Yes, I was pleased to admit that I had been wrong-- my pussy was, indeed, not too small to accomodate the monstrous cock. I really, really liked it.

But though I liked to fuck it, I still couldn't stand to look at it. When I had fucked myself until I couldn't take any more, I washed it off and threw it into my toybox. Out of sight, out of mind. But I didn't throw it into the sex toybox, I threw it into the toy toybox, where my action figures, juggling balls, windup animals and all sorts of other fun objects live. The big ugly dildo remained there, forgotten, after our one sordid night of fucklust.

Fast forward a few months to one particularly debauched weekend at my house. Clay and I were talking sex, and I was showing off all my toys. I gave him the grand tour of my sextoybox, and then I remembered the big ugly dildo lurking in the other box. I was a little shy about pulling it out. A little ashamed, maybe, because it is just so unlike anything I would ever buy or find appealing. (And I'm not sure I wanted to admit that I could accomodate its girth!) But as is the case with human cocks, you can't always judge the potential for fun by the prettiness of the package. I let that thought soothe me as I prepared to bare my soul by showing him the cock I was simultaneously turned off and so very on by.

"Come on Freya, it can't be that bad," he coaxed, "pull that big thing out for me. I want to see it."

"It's really ugly," I warned him, "and kind of scary."

"Ain't nothin' that can scare me, girl. I've seen it all. And I mean, I've seen it all!"

I opened the lid of my toybox. I could feel my cheeks flush, and my pulse quicken. Even though I believed it when Clay said he was unshockable, I still felt pretty vulnerable. I took a deep breath, reached in, and pulled the ugly dildo out.

It was covered in blue spots! I did a double take, peered into the box, and immediately discovered the reason why. A spiky blue massage ball in the box had transferred its color onto my dildo. The mystery material that is known as cyberskin is apparently quite absorbent, and the spiky ball had injected blue splooge into every place where the two made contact.
"It looks leprotic!" I moaned.

Clay fell down laughing.

"It was bad enough before-- but now I'll never be able to fuck it again!"

Clay just kept giggling.

"It looks diseased!" I wrinkled my nose at the dildo. "I guess I'll have to throw it away." I got up to heave it in the trash.

He reached out to touch my arm. "Don't throw it away," he said, looking at me intently, "Just make it work for you."

"Make it work for me? How?"

"Well, since your dildo has blue spots on it, you could fantasize that you're being fucked by an alien."

I turned the idea over in my head for a moment. And I definitely liked it.

So I kept the big scary dildo. I didn't actually use it many times after that, though on a few occasions my cunt was insatiable and that big ugly thing totally hit the spot.

I had never thought of myself as being very adept at fantasizing before that day, but his encouragement of my sexually imaginative side flipped a switch in me. I'm glad for that, because now when I hear an unusual sound outside my window, I get to feel scared and turned on. It's so much more fun.

sugasm #28

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Categories shift around and change between editions depending on what you send me; participants, repost the linklist by the end of Monday night and you’re all set.

Thoughts on Sex: Sex Commentary, Sex Advice, Blogging

All About Oral: Odor, Etiquette, and Why Some Women Don’t Want It (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com)
Anatomy Lessons Part 2 (swelteringcelt.com)
And it Burns, Burns, Burns… (sexeteria.blogspot.com)
Classic S Spot - More on Masturbation (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Damn Leeches! (anawtymouz.blogspot.com)
His Addiction (onaniajournal.blogspot.com)
Love Conquers Some But Not All (realadultsex.com)
Pussy on the Loose (taratainton.com)

Funny / Sex News / Grab Bag

10 Lies Pornographers Tell (sugarbank.com)
Angelina Puts Collagen Rumors to Bed (tgp.com)
I Bet You Didn’t Know the Ancient Greeks Had Strap-ons… (tirepaddle.com)
Last Night Dick Slipped… (janeluvsdick.com)
Sex in the News - Celebrity Sex Tales (seskuality.com)
Shit Week (nakedloftparty.com)

Reviews and Interviews

Interview with Sophia (chillivanilla.com/blg/)
Sugarjoy Review: Xervious Anime Labs (sugarjoy.com)

BDSM and Fetish

Always Ready… (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Bath Time (ropegirl.blogspot.com)
Daddy’s Little Girl (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com)
Edging (sheenv.blogspot.com)
Learning the Ropes (avaadora.blogspot.com)
Missing the Kink (mnsss.blogspot.com)
Put in Place I (lifeashis.com)
Recurring Springtime Fantasy (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
Redemption - Part II (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
Tied Down and Spanked (auntyagony.net)

NSFW Pics

Ariel X Again and Again… (eroticandy.blogspot.com)
Christine Young Review (internetisforporn.com)
Free Pics (seska4lovers.com)
Maddi and Rene on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)
Mim shot by Penelope for Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
Mirrors (pspporn.com)
Misato by Yousoudo for Met-Art (sensualarousalblog.com)
Naughty, Nasty HNT! (sexblogthis.blogspot.com)
Sunshine (lumpesse.com)

Erotica/Erotic Experiences

Between the Biker & the Wall (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)
Cock Tease (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com)
First Meeting (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com)
Hard Fucking (everythingoze.blogspot.com)
I Saw. I Came. I was Conquered. (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
Last Night (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
Magically Delicious (fourstate.blogspot.com)
Masturbating in the Car (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Masturbation and Memories (philosophyofbeing.blogspot.com)
Please, I Would Love A Kiss (suburbansexpot.blogs.com)
Secret Reads: The Roommate (secretbrain.blogspot.com)
Shhh… Do You Hear That? (v-boat.blogspot.com)
Snatched Moments (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
Sunday Sweetness (antisojo.livejournal.com)
When He Watches (tangysweet.blogspot.com)

Experiences

From Fantasy to Reality (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
Kicking Myself In The Ass (stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
Life with an Easy Girlfriend (hotcouple.co.uk)

Sex Work

Packing for a Spanking Shoot (adelehaze.com)
Wearing Your Inner Vixen (tinastrangeworld.blogspot.com)

Announcements and Sex Politics

Britney Spears Pro-Life Statue (spiritsex.blogspot.com)
Jorge Rivas (sugarpit.com)
New Book Review (cakenyc.com)

 

please, i would love a kiss.

many of my fellow sex bloggers have been talking about kissing.  tender soft kisses, deep soul-touching kisses with tongue, in the dark... seeing nothing, feeling everything.

it's made me a little more sensitive to the kisses i get versus the kisses i daydream about.

what is a kiss?  some say it's a prelude to a sexual event upcoming.  without kissing, the natural progression of fondling and eventually sexxxing is fractured.  others say its utilitarian... something you do while your hands and other body parts move in the sex dance we all know and love so well.  and then there are those that think a kiss is so sacred, that you should only bestow them on those you love and/or adore. 

i choose: d) none of the above

for me, kissing doesn't have to fit any or all of the above descriptions; it's just not mutually exclusive.

i want to kiss a handsome stranger... make him smile and gasp to catch his breath after surprising him with an off-guard but stranglely welcome kiss on his lips.  leaning into his torso and tasting his bottom lip as i pull away.

i want to playfully kiss a woman... taste sunshine and lip gloss while i smile and laugh into her mouth... passing my infectious giggle to her through my lips and making a spectacle of us both in public.

i want to kiss the man goodbye as i run out the door on an errand, and have him remember when it was more fun to forget the errand and pull me down on the couch to him, rather than absently shooing me away.

i want to kiss my lover.  soft languid kisses while we lie face to face and he strokes my slightly damp hair... preserving the connection we just had while making love and wordlessly making the promises of more to come as i brush my lips against his.

yeah, i would so welcome a kiss.

me love you long time.

mia over at damn jezebel has officially pimped me out to her readers.  so after you glide thru all my musings, find your way over to her little corner of the internet and settle in 'twixt her type.

she's sexy. 

...and she will bitchslap me into next week, should i try and hold out. ;)

sugasm #27

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Posts are cut at F within each category, categories shift around and change between editions depending on what you send me, and you can get in on the next one by using this form.

BDSM/Fetish

HNT #4 - Assume the Position (avaadora.blogspot.com)
I Don’t Mind it Rough (tangysweet.blogspot.com)
Kneeling (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Making Love in the Rain Revisited (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com)
Monde Imaginaire (theninthwave.typepad.com)
The Notorious Bettie Page (sugarbank.com)
Sadist Taking What is His (theheronclan.blogspot.com)
Spanking Site Review: Bars and Stripes (adelehaze.com)
Thigh High Boots (video) (thebootcam.com)
Training and Surrender (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
Choices - Part Five (masterenigma.blogspot.com)
D/s Correspondence (barbiebaby09.livejournal.com)

Erotica/Erotic Experiences

In Three Minds (orpheusmind.blogspot.com)
My Ultimate Fantasy (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
The Slow Fuck (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com)
Teen Lesbians Brittney and Avril on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)
The Vixxen Chronicles - Walking Funny, Pt. 3 (unfetteredcravings.blogspot.com)
Welcome To My Fantasy (herknees.org)
Coach T… Ch. 5 (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
Dear Pussy (secretbrain.blogspot.com)

 

Sex Work

I am now a sex worker (lumpesse.com)
Half-Nekkid: Topless and Thinking (sabrinainstockings.com)
Mothers and Prostitutes Don’t Mix (taratainton.com)

Experiences

Going Home (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
Single Double (damnjezebel.com)
Women Aren’t the Only Complex Creatures (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Caught Kissing in the Copier Room (anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

Announcements

Save the Date! NYC Perverts’ Saloon - Monday, April 3rd (viviane212.blogspot.com)
Twilight + Thebes Podcast Discusses Paddles + Devil Girl Sushi Table (tirepaddle.com)

NSFW Pics

Gracie on Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
My Sister’s Best Friend Review (internetisforporn.com)
I Feel Myself - The Art of Orgasm (sensualarousalblog.com)
Oops, I forgot. The word of the day is “moisture” (realadultsex.com)
Sincerely LaRue (eroticandy.blogspot.com)
S Spot Hentai Links (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Thoughts on Sex: Sex Commentary, Sex Advice, Blogging

Faking (v-boat.blogspot.com)
Fingering (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com)
Long Ass POST! (alphadominablog.com)
Twats and Knives: Together at Last (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com)
Variety Act (seska4lovers.com)
Advice - Tasting Yourself (seskuality.com)
Anatomy Lessons Part 1 (swelteringcelt.com)
Come (sexeteria.blogspot.com)

Sex News / Grab Bag

For the Youthful-Looking Cooter You Deserve (tgp.com)
Mardi Gras Spanking (auntyagony.net)
Profaning the sacred (sexblo.gs)
They’ve Went and Bottled the Pussy! (suburbansexpot.blogs.com)
Tom Cruise’s Cock (sugarpit.com)
Charges Dropped in Teacher Sex Scandal (spiritsex.blogspot.com)
Dress Up Britney Spears (sugarjoy.com)

Funny

Killing An Erection (radicalvixen.com)
after a few shots… (janeluvsdick.com)

 

they've went and bottled the pussy!

how many times have you said, often only to yourself, "i should bottle that up and sell it.  I'll be rich!" ???

well, someone went and got creative, and bottled the essence of the sweet, sweet poontang. 

courtesy of Viva Eros, and the folks over at RiechMichund comes 'vulva original' or for you less bourgeois folks, 'puss in a bottle' or as i'm starting to call it, 'cunt cologne'.

skip on over and look at all the glossy marketing, complete with gravity defying breasts, lots of oiled skin and a mini gallery of nudity in public.  (love those forward-thinking european contries!)

i'm just left with a couple lingering questions...

- is it, fresh from the shower poon flavor you are slathering on?  or is it day-old girl juice stink?

- do you have to reapply often?  or will a single spritz of the spunk last all day & night?

i think this has -fabulous- possibilites!  can you imagine, a door-to-door snatch scent salesgirl? nationwide, people -wanting- to be accosted in department stores by a pussy perfume girl?  it's never too early to plan on get that perfect christmas gift.

i'm thinking, the eau de eros is a gift that will keep on giving...

Figging Further Illustrated:

Inspired by Fetish Memetics: Here's my personal experience with figging!

Some background info:

Figging is a form of BDSM pain play in which a piece of raw, peeled ginger is inserted into a person's ass. It creates an intense burning sensation.

And I am willing to try most things at least once.

So, being the sexual scientist I am, I had to experiment. It should be noted that figging used to be on my list of hard limits, but it is no longer. (I couldn't understand why anyone would want to experience such a thing but insatiable curiosity got the best of me.)

I trip-trapped down to the market, and bought two nice-sized pieces of ginger for $.24. (Hey, it's economical!) I spent some time peeling a piece into just the right shape and size, and threaded a string through the ginger so it wouldn't get lost in there and cause me eternal torment.

I got my play area set up, with toys and pillows all around, and took a deep breath because I was truly afraid. I didn't know what to expect except for intense ass burning, and who the hell wants that?

I approached the insertion somewhat hesitantly-- I touched the ginger to the outside of my ass and it was a bit warm and sting-y but not so bad. I waited a few moments and slid it partway in. Holy fuck, it burned. I wanted to stop right then, but instead I pushed it all the way in. I closed my eyes, felt tears squeeze out, leaned back and settled in for the ride.

It's somewhat difficult to accurately describe the series of escalating sensations I experienced. I entered a highly endorphined state after the first couple of minutes, and that state evolved consistently throughout the experiment.

My entire body from the waist down felt like it was simultaneously on fire and vibrating. I could feel my heart beating in my ass and pussy. My pussy lubricated copiously and constantly in response to the sensation, and my clit became highly sensitive. I played with my clit a little, but couldn't make myself come because the other sensation was too intense. There were more than a few times when it was so intense I thought I couldn't take it anymore, but I pushed through it with deep breathing and was rewarded with another endorphin rush.

And then, suddenly, I decided I was done. I pulled the ginger out, and almost immediately, the burning ceased. I was relieved, and super happy to know that there was no persistent pain. Then I made myself come, and considered it a full day's research.

Fetish Memetics, or The Science of Armpit Licking in the Deep South

So a friend of mine (Le Sexpot) was telling me about a practice called figging (oh, the burning!), whom she’d heard about from another friend (the Obstinate Lover), and this of course made me do research (look on the internet) and wonder more broadly about fetish memetics. Meme (rhymes with gene) refers to a unit of cultural information or idea. The study of how they spread is called memetics. Much like the gene, the meme is a self-propagating unit and can undergo cultural evolution and mutation. Christianity is a meme, blogging is a meme, an Elton John song is a meme, smoking is a really bad habit (but yeah, it’s a meme too).

So what does this have to do with sticking ginger root in Le Sexpot’s too succulent big ass?  I’ll get to that. But first, let me explain my part in spreading a fetish of my own. I’m not a dom in any structured sense, but like most men I have dominant tendencies in the bedroom. As part of my sexual repertoire I’ve incorporated the fears of my lovers as an enticement. I’ve known since I was a young cat that women are embarrassed by someone smelling their scent, especially their armpits. This led to a pre-coital ritual in which I hold my lover’s arms above her head and against her will pretend to lick her armpits. Most women shriek and howl. Some have tried to tough it out and bite their lips, wrapping themselves around me while the heat of my breath grazes the tender skin and stubble until they can take no more. It’s a lot of fun. Nipples harden, pelvises lock, and all of the sexual senses are engaged. Mind you, I don’t have to lick the pits, just come tantalizingly close, grazing them with each lunge.

But then there was the case of the Obstinate Lover. After several near-passes and the typical resistance she said, “Go for it,” and lay back in surrender. As I got closer to her armpit I felt none of the struggle I’d felt before; her arms went rubber and I was face to face with actually licking and tasting her. It wasn’t bad, funky sweet. I went in again.  Side to side.  Kisses.  She moaned.  She liked it.  I really liked it.  She was tickled but this was new territory and the Obstinate Lover was / is all about new territory.  This is the part where I should get really scientific and tell you that it was all about human olfaction, its function and impact on psychology and behavior. But no, this was sex stripped to its core, five senses engaged. It was a moment of sexual flush that we’ll never forget. The Obstinate Lover had successfully taken on my meme.

Flash forward a couple of years. I keep in touch with the Obstinate Lover and she sends me a note saying that she’s been the giver and receiver of armpit love and highly recommends it to everyone. Her adaptation of my fetish meme had mutated. What I’d once used as a form of fun torture (“it’s armpit torture time, bitch!”), was now a loving gesture of intimacy.  Who knows what form her armpit love will take in future adherents.  Which brings me back to figging. Figging, I’m told by the mostly true Encyclopedia Dramatica , is the sexual act of inserting ginger into the anus while being caned.  It supposedly started out as an equine event, the burning sensation keeping the tail of the horse held high. Someone during the Victorian era thought this might be a good punishment for children and the British, buggers that they are, brought it into the bedroom.  At some point the Obstinate Lover got ahold of this idea mutated it into a loving gesture (she's just like that), told Le Sexpot about it and voila, I’m sizing up ginger root at Whole Foods. 

Trading fetish memes, Darwin would be proud.

Pink leg warmers.

Friday night my date cancelled on me because she promised her friends she'd go out with them for St. Patrick's day. Needless to say, I was bummed.

So my Daddy sent over one of his girls to cheer me up. He said, "I'll send her over with a bottle of wine and you can make her do anything you want. She can rub your feet, or massage your back. You can make her do your dishes, or make her fuck you with your big black dildo. Whatever you want, Baby."

Lex arrived with a bottle of wine, chocolate, and a box of tofutti cuties.

We sat on my bed and listened to the new Tricky album (which I don't like as much as Maxinquaye, but that's a hard album to outdo, in my opinion.) We talked about numerology, astrology, veganism, masochism, and our mutual adoration for my partner.

We split the bottle of wine in no time, and out of nowhere, she said, "You need legwarmers. Do you have any legwarmers?"

I didn't have any legwarmers. In fact, I haven't owned a pair since the 5th grade. And I haven't thought about those legwarmers until this very moment, but I can visualize them perfectly. They were grapey purple, with flecks of rainbow colors in them. They were thick and bunchy and sweatery.

But I wanted to please Lex, even though she was sent over to please me.

A flash of inspiration led me to my stockings drawer, and I pulled out a pair of hot-pink footless tights I've never been able to wear because they're too high-waisted. I pulled out a pair of scissors and cannibalized those tights. I cut off the legs and, voila! had a pair of the cutest close-fitting hot-pink legwarmers you ever did see. I layered them over my hot-pink fencenet thigh-highs and slipped on a little black shift that barely covers my ass, and sheer black and pink polka-dotted panties.

"Ooo, perfect!" she squealed.

We sat on the front porch so she could smoke, and contemplate the rest of the evening. We got our idea at the same time. "Do you like to dance?" I asked her, just as she asked me, "Have you ever been to 80's night at the Fez?"

So we went dancing. We walked downtown, holding hands, talking, giggling, and weaving ever so slightly from the bottle of wine. I had a moment of anxiety on the way; What if I don't feel like dancing? What if I'm too shy? What if the music sucks?

But Lex is the kind of girl who enters the room and is At One With the Party. Her lack of inhibition was infectious-- we danced like we had never been tamed. I danced with her, danced by myself, danced with other people I had never met before. My hips felt so well oiled and I didn't worry even once "what the fuck do I do with my arms?"

She pulled me close to her and kissed me. (I love girls who make the first move. Have I ever mentioned that?) We kissed as we danced but then I had to just stand still because it was too much to concentrate on. And then, she broke my concentration by sliding her hands onto my ass and lifting my dress up over my hips. I slapped her hands in half-mock half-real horror. "You're so bad!" I laughed. We are not Girls Gone Wild!

We sat down to cool off, and had another drink. She pulled me onto her lap and we kissed and kissed. The DJ put on the song she had been dying to hear all night-- a remix of Mad World by Echo and The Bunnymen. Such a sad song. Fucking sad song. But we got up and danced like it was happy. And then we headed for home.

The walk back to my place cleaned off the last of the alcohol buzz. We weren't tired at all, so we put on the Beastie Boys and danced some more. I always dance alone in front of the mirror in my apartment, but it was so much fun to do it with someone else! I felt like a real live girl.

We fell into bed petting and kissing each other until we were worn out. Then we fell asleep.

What a beautiful night. I love my life.

sugasm #26

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Posts are cut at N within each category, categories shift around and change between editions depending on what you send, and you can get in on the next one by using this form. More new blogs this edition, and some old favorites coming back. Yay! It’s all NSFW - read with caution and happy St. Patrick’s day weekend.

Funny

Last Night Jane Was Spoiled (janeluvsdick.com…)
Metal Gear Friday (sugarjoy.com…)
Pornstar Grandad’s Secret: Topical Garlic (tgp.com…)
Red Eye (radicalvixen.com…)

NSFW Pics

Met Models: Zyta (ethnorotica.com…)
Pool Party at Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com…)
Saturday Babes (internetisforporn.com…)
Sexy Tomiko (eroticandy.blogspot.com…)
Erotica-Obscura (sexblo.gs)
Film Fridays 15 - Luck O’ The Irish (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com…)
HNT #8 (barelace.blogspot.com…)

Fetish and BDSM

A Morning School Fantasy (adelehaze.com…)
Seven Messy Girls on Abby Winters (sensualarousalblog.com…)
Commit to Crossing the Threshold (masterenigma.blogspot.com…)
Foot Fetish Photoset (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com…)
Interview with Sexy Kittens (tirepaddle.com…)

Sex News and Commentary / Sexual Politics

Lexington Steele Daintily Dips Heterosexual Toes in Not-Gay Water (sugarpit.com…)
The New Porn Apartheid - Luke Fords Rebuttal Rebutted (sugarbank.com…)
South Dakota Paper Bans Abortion Opinion (susiebright.blogs.com…)
Top 5 Disappointments and Surprises While Watching Porn (suburbansexpot.blogs.com…)
Body Image and Sexual Risk Taking (seskuality.com…)
Girls Warned Not to ‘Go Wild’ on Spring Break (spiritsex.blogspot.com…)

Miscellanea - Sexy Advice, Reviews, & Announcements

Two Straight Men Doing Anal Together (realadultsex.com…)
Dermaphoria Fever (sabrinainstockings.com…)
A Game For New (And Old) Lovers (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com…)
I am Shocked, Amazed, and Bewildered! (philosophyofbeing.blogspot.com…)

Experiences

The Mind Blowing Blowjob (herknees.org…)
My 1st Shave by the Teacher… (dirtygirlsthoughts.blogspot.com…)
Niagara Fantasy (sexinga.blogspot.com…)
Separated Only by Distance (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com…)
True Secret: Two Firsts in New York (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)
Webcam Solo Sex (seska4lovers.com…)
Why I Started Liking Math (shaysotherspot.blogspot.com…)
Coffee, Tea, or… (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com…)
Deeper, deeper, inside, inside (anawtymouz.blogspot.com…)
Diary of a Debauched Man (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)
I Had No Intentions… pt 1 (damnjezebel.com…)

Fantasies & Fiction

Lecherous (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com…) Lesbian Seduction on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com…)
My Ache for You (aliferestarted.blogspot.com…)
Overwhelmed (sin.typepad.com…)
Talking Dirty (drtycplinva.blogspot.com…)
Threesome (sexeteria.blogspot.com…)
Wake (mycyberaffair.blogspot.com…)
Fingers (v-boat.blogspot.com…)

 

Richard Kern On Nipples

"I think girls' nipples should match their personalities."

I just flew to Mexico City on almost no notice to do a casting. I was in and out in two days. It might seem like a long way to go to take pictures of naked girls, but it paid off in spades. I like doing that anyway—taking off and looking for models instead of having a bunch of go-sees come by my place while I get fat on the couch. Most photographers just take whatever girl the agencies send around. That’s why you see the same five girls in everyone else’s photos.-- Richard Kern on Viceland.

BONUS: Previous work of Richard Kern on Viceland.

bacchus has given us a little fondle.

erosblog: the sex blog - 3/15/06

thank you baby! -kiss-

Top 5 Disappointments and Surprises While Watching Porn

5. Andrew Blake: One of the biggest disappointments a man can have is when his sweetheart says she wants to watch porn with him and he gets to spend an hour watching the soft and dreamy dreck of Andrew Blake. Sure the production is top-rate but blonde wigs, silicone tits, a Yanni-esque soundtrack, and over-manicured pussy do not make for a titillating porn experience in my world.  

4. Men wearing disguises / Butt pimples: Which is worse, porn stars who look like they’re robbing a bank with a hard-on or video directors too cheap to buy body makeup to cover ass acne? Total toss up here.

3. Goes gay without warning: I once rented a video that promised to be an “orgy for the eyes.” On the box it promised gangbangs, BBW, mature, lesbian action, and anal. Cool, right? Not when one of the dudes in the gangbang scene penetrated the other without so much as a handshake or hug. Judging by the ease with which they accomplished the act, I'd say they'd done it before.

2. Shemales:  I admit it. I actually own shemale porn. Please, let me explain. Once upon a time when I was a young lad there was a Hispanic goddess with unimaginable hold over my erotic imagination. Her name was Vanessa Del Rio. She had hips, tits, and lips like no other woman in the mainstream genre. She did her job with the enthusiasm that I thought all women had for sex. And then came my viewing of “Viva Vanessa,” a straightforward but fictional tale of her rise to the top of the porn game. After several really well produced scenes of Vanessa’s erotic powers we get the blonde and lithe Angelique Richard as a sex partner. It starts out as a lesbian seduction, but when Vanessa explains she doesn’t swing that way (yeah, right) Angelique whips out what might qualify as either a penis fit for a Lilliputian or an enormous clit with a ball sac. Groady and unexpected in the extreme.

1. Ron Jeremy: Quite possibly the least attractive man in the game and we’re supposed to pretend he’s a rock star.  I know I know, Ron is supposed to represent the common man. But does the common man look like a sleezy Mario Brother?  Look at those jaded eyes, that slack jaw, his rarely working cock, and that mountain of furry burrito he calls a belly and you’ll know why “The Hedgehog” is my number one reason for turning off porn.

And to think he slept with Vanessa Del  Rio...

So sweet.

She and I  started our evening with girlie drinks (blood orange and grey goose cocktails, yum!) at a neighborhood bar. We leaned across the table into each other as we sipped and talked about everything sexual. We discussed our respective boys, our past loves and lusts, and our sexual desires that remain to be fulfilled. She's got enormous, long-lashed blue eyes, and a direct confident stare.

I went to the bathroom after my first drink was finished, and when I returned, she asked, "So, what is it about you that I find so attractive?" Oh yeah. What a marvelous question. "I'm not sure about the reasons, but it's definitely mutual," I replied.  I blushed, I'm sure, and smiled as I told her my theories. We both love to talk about sex. I'm safe, because I'm in a sane open relationship. I'm non-judgemental. My attraction to her is definite, and so so apparent.

We went back to my apartment, and sat on my bed talking for hours. I'm great at getting girls onto my bed, but notoriously chicken about making the first move. We talked about sex to the point that I was squirming. I gave her a tour of my sex-toy drawer. It was obvious to me that we both wanted to do something but I just couldn't...

By 5 am, we were naked in the dark, tucked under the covers in my big, soft, bed; still chaste, but so hot. The phone rang, and it was my boyfriend, calling me after his date, wanting to know about mine. I asked him all the questions I usually ask him after a playdate: Did you have fun? Did you fuck her? Did she suck your cock? Is she prettier than I am?  And I answered his questions: Yes, it's been a fun night. No, we haven't kissed yet. Yes, she's completely adorable and I really, really want to.

I felt her hand slide across my belly and up onto my breast. Her fingertips grazed my nipple and pulled. I arched up into her, smiled, and sighed with relief and pent up lust. "Nothing's happened so far, but she just tweaked my nipple, so I'm taking that as a very good sign," I told him. He and I talked for about 5 more minutes, with her hands roaming freely over my body. I guess she didn't really know if it was okay for us to play until she heard exactly how okay it was with my lover, or maybe she just thought it was hot to distract me as I was talking. At any rate, she made the impossible first move and I was so happy that she did.  I told him I loved him, hung up the phone, and we practically leaped on each other.

We kissed, touched, and squirmed, with our legs intertwined and hands everywhere. Neither of us vied for dominance; it was a sweet, exploratory makeout. She reached for my pussy and touched me tenatively, gently, and intuitively. I gasped to feel how wet I was. I knew that I would be, but that initial moment of discovery-- the moment of finding just how swollen, slick and sensitive my cunt was, literally took my breath away.

I kneeled over her, stroking her tits. Each was a perfect handful of impossibly firm 21 year old girlflesh, with the tiniest, pale pink nipples I've ever seen. I licked up her belly from pubic bone to sternum, one delicious breast in each hand, and then had to make a very important decision. Left or right? I don't know which I chose, but I went back and forth between them until I was dizzy, smooshing my face into her chest and inhaling her scent as I played with her perfect tits.

"Do you want to take a shower?" she asked.

We went into the bathroom and I got to see her entire naked body in the light for the first time. Her skin was sleek and smooth and pale, and shined under the shower light. We washed each other's backs, and pressed our soap slicked bellies and breasts against each other as we kissed. She reached one hand down in front of me, and one hand behind, and played with my clit and pussy opening at the same time. I swayed and staggered under her touch. She leaned me up against the shower wall and I kissed her neck and shoulders as she teased me with her fingertips. I seriously felt drunk, but our drinks had long since burned off.

We turned off the shower, and dried each other with big, fluffy white towels. I lit some candles in my bedroom, and we climbed into bed, damp and giddy. We touched and played with each other's pussies, intuitively mirroring each other's movements. We didn't say much, beyond the occasional oh, that's good! and yes, right there. We were slightly awkward as we navigated each other's bodies-- real life is not like porn-- it's a challenge to find a position for mutual touching that's comfortable, effective, and gives you a good view. We ended up sitting,  facing each other with our legs spread, one leg over and one leg under each other's.

I slid my lubed thumb into her pussy and she leaned back on the pillows, eyes closed and smiling. I stroked her G-spot as I closed my four fingers down over her pubic bone and pressed my palm into her clit. She moved against me ever-so-slightly, but seemed perfectly happy for me to determine the narrative of the fuck. I played with her that way until my arm got tired, then switched to my other hand, beckoning her to come here with my middle fingers on her G. I stroked her inner lips and clit with my free hand, squeezing and rolling her clit between my fingers,  jacking it like a tiny dick.

I sensed that she was on the edge, but I suspected that my new-to-her touch was keeping her on that edge, instead of pushing her over. "Show me how you like to touch it,"  I whispered to her, as I intensified my upward thrust. She smiled, and used both hands to pull her outer labia apart and back as she grazed over her clit with thumbs and forefingers as we moved into each other. She didn't come audibly, but her body bucked as her pelvis ground into my hand more and more insistently, and then her body tensed, relaxed, and slowed to a full stop. She smiled at me, pulled my fingers from her pussy and placed my hand on my pussy.

I washed my hands (safety first!) and returned to the bed, with my G-force dildo and a pump bottle of lube. I fucked myself for her, legs spread wide and thrown back so she could see every single detail. She watched, delighted. Her eyes grew huge as my fucking became more aggressive, and she reached down to grab my ass cheeks in her hands, spreading me wide. I fucked myself until my arm felt like jelly, but I hadn't quite gotten to the place where I could come yet. "Will you fuck me with this, please?" 

She was not shy about fucking me, and she did not hesitate to fuck me hard. I came, gasping and shuddering as she moved the dildo in and out of my cunt. We collapsed into a heap, and fell asleep almost immediately.

I so needed that.

sometimes i wish i had a cock.

don't get me wrong, i'm damn in love with being a woman... my big wide hips and ass and how it jiggles and bucks when i get a really good spanking, the thrilling little pain i get when i pull & twist my nipples and the juicy way my cunt spasms when i climax.

but every now and then... when reading some really good, dirty gay porn, i wish i had my own little wang to pull on.

i should take the opportunity to reveal how much i adore really juicy guy on guy gangbang sexxxing.  why?  i'm not quite sure exactly... it might be the abundance of hard squirting cocks or the delight i see when a tongue gives a thorough rimming. my favorite video clip i have is 4 guys, a garden hose and a while lot of anal creampie. i'm not sure what i like better... the throbbing rod thrusting in and out of a lubed ass ring, or the creamy jizz shooting out of a orgasmically tense young stud.

i think if i had a choice, i'd like a foreskin too... a little erogenous face mask that would slide on and off as i slowly jacked my hard shaft and played a kind of sexual peek-a-boo with each stroke.  oh! and precum... lots of precum.  salty and sticky... slowly bubbling out of the winking slit with my heartbeat.

i'd spend all kinds of time rubbing and stroking myself with lubed fingers and exotic toys.  i would love to master the stroking of a prostate with a yummy fat buttplug or a long and slender curved dildo, milking several orgasms before just collapsing.

damn, i'm a wannabe-gay cumslut.

sugasm #25

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this time categorized.

Posts with NSFW pics are in italics. Keep in mind NSFW pic labeling is just for photos/layout images on the specific page linked. Pretty much everything here is NSFW, but you like it like that.

Announcements/Blogging

The Partistes (seska4lovers.com…)
Shibaricon: World’s Premiere Annual Pansexual Exhibition 2006 (spiritsex.blogspot.com…)
Stat-Aholic (shaysotherspot.blogspot.com…)
SugarClick Launched (sugarbank.com…)

Experiences

The Dreaded Scottish Cockblock (jundercovers.blogspot.com…)
The Four of Us (herknees.org…)
Killing an Afternoon (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com…)
Losing M (v-boat.blogspot.com…)
Resistance is Futile (avaadora.blogspot.com…)
Underground (domequeen.blogspot.com…)

Fantasies

Eagle (barbiebaby09.livejournal.com…)
Exhaling (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com…)
Hot Sugar and Wet Silk (tangysweet.blogspot.com…)
On the Dock (Fiction) (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com…) 
Saturday with Adele (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)
Stormy Night (gentlygently.blogspot.com…)
Tandem Massages (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com…)
25 Words or Less (contains NSFW pics if you scroll down) (realadultsex.com…)
Babysitter  (drtycplinva.blogspot.com…)
Body Language (chaosnoir.blogspot.com…)
 Can I Play with it Now? (4dirtylaundry.blogspot.com…)

Funny

Jane likes to teeter totter. (janeluvsdick.com…)
Santorum (radicalvixen.com…)
This is what Happens… (damnjezebel.com…)
We All Have AIDS (sugarpit.com…)
The Cock Interviews: Part Two (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)

Fetish & BDSM

A Long Hot Soak and Burning Candles (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com…)
Interesting Interactions (lifeashis.com…)
New Elena Spanking Pics (tirepaddle.com…)
On a Power Trip (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com…)
The Perfect Fetish Photo (adelehaze.com…)
“The sweetest thing I ever saw, was you asleep and dreaming.” (eternalapprentice.blogsome.com…)
Choices - Part Three (masterenigma.blogspot.com…)

NSFW Pics

House of Babalon (eroticandy.blogspot.com…)
Looking Down (barelace.blogspot.com…)
                      O azul… // The blue one… (camadecasal.blogspot.com…)
Anal Advocate (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com…)
Aurora Snow, Gauge and a Dildo. Pure Magic. (internetisforporn.com…)

Sex Advice / Sex Toys / Sexy Reviews

Oh Boys… May I Experiment on You? (sexeteria.blogspot.com…)
One Hefty Dose of Butch, Black, Silicone Bliss (suburbansexpot.blogs.com…)
Pretty Dumb Things (sugarclick.com…)
Sex Toys Must Have (creamonpants.com…)
Tips for Going Bare (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com…) 
The Blind Jockey (sin.typepad.com…) 

Sex Commentary / Sexual Politics

Lara Drops to a C Cup (sugarjoy.com…)
Porn You Wish They’d Make (sabrinainstockings.com…)
Sex in the News - Blog-a-Thon by Blank Noise Project (seskuality.com…)
2257 and Sweet Pink Activist Cunt (fullfrontalpolitics.com…)

h.n.t. - #1

happy half nekkid thursday !

One hefty dose of butch, black, silicone bliss

Toy Review: G-Force by Tantus

The G-force Dildo by Tantus is one hefty dose of butch, black, silicone bliss.

It's 11 inches long, with a comfy sure-grip handle at one end, and a meaty, weighty, G-spot lovin' shape at the other. The distance between the ends is spanned by a graceful length of curvy silicone shaft. The G-Force is springy and responsive; as the shaft flexes and bends, the head glides up into perfect position for G-spot pummeling. Of course, it doesn't have to be used roughly. Equally delicious sensations can be achieved by gripping the handle and twisting it from side to side. This lateral action massages the body of the G-spot with firm-yet-gentle intensity, and is a perfect warmup for more intense thrusting.

The handle of the G-force is both sexy and smart. It's got a few subtle, yet brilliant, characteristics that make it a complete pleasure to hold. It's finished with a matte texture, so lube slicked hands can grasp it effortlessly. The raised spiral ridge that wraps around the handle offers an unexpected bonus. If you jack the handle like you would a dick, it transmits lovely, thuddy, vibrations deep inside. The feature I love the most is so subtle that it might go unnoticed, but it's ingenious. There's a small, tasteful Tantus icon stamped into the handle near the end, and this corresponds with the upward curve of the head. Unlike many other G-spot dildos which may slip to an unproductive angle, there's never any confusion about which end is up, if you do a quick check with your fingertips. This allows you to focus on your G-spot, or someone else's, with precision and confidence.

The head of the G-Force is engineered so that you can achieve acute sensation with the tip of the head, or more diffuse sensation with the sides of the head, by shifting your grip and angle of approach. It's sizeable enough to fill you up completely, but there's still plenty of opportunity for movement, particularly if you use lots of lube. Unless your internal architecture is very petite, you probably won't feel stretched once it's inside, but it does provide very satisfying stretch on entry and exit. Because the head transitions immediately to the slender neck of the shaft,  you can create a delicious suction effect with your pussy or ass as you squeeze your muscles closed around the shaft.

I test drove it by myself, the first time. I really enjoyed how the extra length of the G-force made it so easy for me to fuck myself. The kinetic transfer that the curvature and density of the silicone provide makes this toy perfect for a lazy fuck. And if you feel inspired, it's practically effortless to ramp up to a more frenetic fuck. It can be used hands-free quite easily; I had a fun time gripping the handle between my heels as I fucked myself onto it. It's also great for your PC workout. It's weighty enough to offer a substantial challenge to your muscles, and you can change the angle of the toy to work different regions of squeeze with ease.

As a partner-driven toy, it's also scores high. If you play with someone who is dominant, you might find yourself on the receiving end of the G-force as an implement for hitting! It delivers a nice heavy thud that feels super yummy on your ass, if you like that sort of thing. It is also a great accompaniment to oral sex; it can be inserted and then pushed down to provide G-spot pleasure without getting in the way of the action. It feels completely different in the hands of my lover-- I don't know what to expect from moment to moment, and that is a delight. The design of the G-force allows for a very expressive, interpretive approach to fucking.

--Freya

What makes a good lover?

Someone just asked me, "What makes a good lover?" This is my reply. Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

Being interested in your lover's sexual process and response as an individual makes you a good lover. This means being observant during sex, by reading and feeling your partner's body language and physical response. It also means asking questions, listening to the answers, and then finding a sexual path that takes that information into account. Many people fly on sexual autopilot, doing whatever works for them, or worked for their past lover, or what they read in a book or magazine, instead of coming to each partner as a new experience, and a new opportunity for sexual discovery.

She doesn't miss a beat.

"I kind of wish we could have gotten something started with Elle, but I couldn't figure out how to bring it up at dinner, and I didn't know if you felt like sharing tonight," my Daddy says, as he cranks the van and waits for the engine to get warm.

I run scenarios in my mind and make a snap decision. "I'd be into doing something, but I'd rather watch than participate. I'd love to masturbate while you beat her ass..."

He looks at me; his eyebrow is a question mark. "Really? You think you'd be up for that?"

I grin at him. He looks so cute when he's excited. "Definitely. It'll be hot. But we'll have to go to my house first so I can grab some toys, and then go to your house where no one will be able to hear her scream."

"What do we say to her?"

"Don't worry," I say, "I'll take care of that."

He swings the van around and we drive up next to Elle, who's still lingering outside the restaurant. She and our other friend, Jay, are saying their goodbyes. Their words and laughter float above them in white puffs.

I roll my window down and lean my face out. "Hey Elle. You want to come over and get beat while I beat off?" I smile my most sweet, wicked smile.

She doesn't miss a beat. "Fuck yeah!" She's giddy and excited and ready to be punished in the matter of a split second.

Jay throws his head back to laugh his huge laugh. "Say that again. I need to be sure I heard what I think I heard."

I inflect my question the exact same way. "Hey Elle. You want to come over and get beat while I beat off?"

"Fuck yeah!" She responds, in what's almost a shout. Her voice is full of lust, and full of need.

Jay laughs some more, and shakes his head and smiles. "That's what I thought I heard. You are truly sick fucks. I seriously love you guys. Have fun!"

We agree to meet up at Daddy's in a half hour. I race into my house and throw my rock chick, my cheapie (but goodie) plastic G-spot vibe, and some lube into my bag. I know exactly what I want to do to myself. I know exactly what I want.

I can feel my excitement build as we drive across town. I squeeze my thighs together and flex my cunt's muscles. My own sadistic energy starts to flow as I sink into dirty thoughts.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Daddy asks. He looks at me with concern and I realize he's been watching the mean thoughts flash across my face.  I smile right back at him, my face completely open and full of love for him.

He gets it immediately, but I verbalize just so there's no confusion. "I am SO okay with this. It's going to be fun. I love you, Daddy."

Once we get to his house, we race around to get set up before Elle arrives. I tidy the bedroom, and put on clean sheets. He hops into the shower, because even though I think his sweat smells like sex incarnate, he's very conscious of it when we play with anyone else. I begin to open the company bedspread onto his playground-sized bed, when I hear Elle's knock.

I run to the door and let her in. We hug and kiss hello. She smells like red wine and clove cigarettes. I can feel her anticipation; it vibrates. I pull her with me back to his bedroom, and we work together to finish making the bed.

"Do you think we can make out a little bit tonight?" she asks.

I hesitate before I answer. I really want to be a complete spectator tonight. I don't want to get pulled into the fray, and who knows what will happen if we start kissing.

"I don't know," I start; my voice is shaky because it's so hard for me to say anything but an automatic, enthusiastic yes. "I imagine we could, but I'm pretty set on looking in from the outside," I finally manage. She looks at me as if she's thinking something, but doesn't tell me what. I don't ask.

Daddy emerges from the shower, still moist. He pets my hair and kisses me lightly on the lips.  He smiles at her, and wraps his hand into her hair as he pulls her roughly up to his mouth. He kisses her hard.  She melts into him; her submissive switch is thrown in immediate response to his touch.

I slip out as they say their hellos. I pad into the bathroom to take my turn at washing up. I can hear the shape of their conversation as I put my hair into twin braids, but I can't make out any actual words. I fill my enema bottle with warm water, then I fill myself up and sit on the edge of the tub to wait. I'm too excited to sit for very long. I lean against the cool sink and take a long look at myself in the mirror. I like what I see. I'm flushed and my eyes are terribly bright. I reach down, just because I'm curious. Yep, I'm definitely wet. It could be the belly full of warm water; the act of getting my ass ready to be fucked makes me hot because I know what  comes next. I finish cleaning my ass out, rinse off, and then I'm ready to find out what's going on in the bedroom.

It's dark in there. He's got the lights turned down except for one lamp. Until my eyes adjust I can only see silhouettes and the movement of shadows. I stand quietly near the door as I watch and listen. He towers over her. He's put her on on the edge of the bed, shirt off, her legs spread wide enough that it looks uncomfortable. He's right up on her; his bulk is pushed into her V. Her chin is tipped up to him and she smiles at him in a blatantly sassy way. I watch her facial expression shift to one of pain, and I know he's got one of her nipples in a tight grip. She hisses at the pain, and relaxes deep into her masochism. The hiss gives way to a low groan, and then she laughs her throaty laugh.

He grips her nipple harder and pulls her soft, heavy tit up and out from her body. "You fucking little slut. You're laughing. What's so fucking funny?" he growls, and she yelps. I can hear her breaths come sharp and fast. She's struggling to process the sensation and he's not ready to let up.

"Nothing's funny," she says carefully, as she tries to suppress the nervous laughter that bubbles over.

He turns his head in my direction, and his voice softens. "What are you doing, Baby? Do you want to come get comfy on the bed and watch me hurt her?"

I do want to watch him hurt her.

I grab my toybag and two prop-me-up pillows and climb up on the bed. The bed is pushed into the corner so I have two walls to relax back onto. I take my time, arrange my pillows just so, and lay out my toys and lube next to me so I can reach them easily. My movements are relaxed and deliberate; I want her to know that I'm spoiled and can do whatever I want to do. I lean back and spread my legs wide. I stroke my breasts and belly and thighs, and squirm with delight that I'm the favorite, whereas Elle is truly fucked. She's a deep masochist, more deep than almost anyone else I've ever seen. She wants to be beaten, battered, and deeply bruised, and she gets off on it.

"Show me your dirty little slut whore ass," he says to her. He wants to see the damage from her past week's exploits. He wants to press his thumb deep into her leftover bruises and make her wince.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She's defiant, and so asking for it.

He grabs her hair to turn her face eye to eye with his. He speaks slowly and enunciates as if he's spelling it out to someone who's dumb. "I want to see your ass, and you are a dirty little slut whore!

"No, you are!"

He spins her around and pushes her face into the bed, holding her there by a fistful of hair. He pulls her skirt and panties down to her ankles with his other hand in one swift movement. He spanks her hard, about a dozen smacks in quick succession, and presses his thumb deep into the worst of the bruises. Her face is turned to me; her eyes are closed in rapturous half-slits and she's still smiling!

"You have an ass that looks like this and you try to tell me you're not a dirty little slut whore?" He presses his cock up against her backside and she grinds back onto him. He smacks both of her flanks at the same time, and the impact shudders through her. "Get upon the fucking bed and spread your legs. We'll see who's the little whore. Spread them wide and wipe that fucking smile off of your face. Do it now!" he barks.

She perches on the side of the bed, her ass up high. He strokes her creamy white thighs and for just a moment, I think he's going to take it easy on her. He rests one hand on her lower back and smooths gently as he presses his curled hand into her perineum. She tries to wiggle her ass up even higher so his hand will press down lower, onto her cunt.

"I was going to be nice to you, but you're just too slutty for that, aren't you?" he asks her.  "And a greedy little slut, at that. I shouldn't just give you what you want, but it happens that I want it too," he says, as he takes his hand away from her pussy and presses his weight into the deep purple stripes on her ass. "Because I know that what we really both want is for me to hurt you." He spanks the stripes with sharp, hard blows, using his hand to bring more heat into the already abused flesh. "And where did you get these marks? Can you even remember? I bet it's all a blur, now, isn't it? I bet you'll let just about anybody beat your slutty little whore ass."

His mocking tone would make me cry if it were directed at me, but I can tell it's exactly what she wants by the way she pushes back into his hand's range.  I reach down to touch my pussy; I can feel the heat rising up before my fingers make contact. He's so sexy when he's being mean, and  it's so hot that she loves it so much.  I'm lucky that I get to live vicariously through them both. My switchy sexuality flashes from one extreme to the other in response to their play. It feels chaotic at times but I'm fully turned on.

I stretch my leg up high and rest it on the window frame. I get distracted for a moment, as I admire the shape of my leg, and think about how hot I must look, splayed out like that. I finger my cunt, showing off, even though they are too much into their moment to notice me. I am my very own appreciative audience.

As if he can hear my thoughts, he looks up and flashes me a smile. "You look so hot, Baby. I love to see you touch your sweet cunt like that. Does that feel so good?"

"Yes, Daddy. It feels so good. I love to watch you be mean to her. Every time you hit her I can feel it in my pussy." I arch my body over to the side so I can push my the full length of my two middle fingers in. My G-spot feels full and squishy, so I press into it harder. My whole body shudders in response.

"I'm so glad," he says. "I bet you want me to hit her harder, don't you?"

I nod and smile, caught up in the perfect greedy voluptuousness of my masturbation. Elle watches my fingers as they slide in and out of my soaked pussy and smiles. She nods vigorously along with me-- she wants to be hit some more, too.

...to be cunt-inued!

--Freya

Toy Review: Rock Chick

It may have a silly name, but this toy is no joke.

The Rock Chick is a fabulously ergonomic, intensely stimulating, well-designed wonder of a G-Spot toy. The gay boy who sold me mine confided that it works equally well for prostate stimulation, so butt-slutty men, take note.

It's made of firm silicone with a velvety finish, and comes in purple, though I wish it were available in black. The springy responsiveness of the silicone, combined with the V-shaped design, assures that you'll get satisfying g-spot stimulation without having to tie yourself in knots.

You may be wondering, "How exactly does it work?"

The curved end goes in your pussy, or your ass, if you're so inclined. When you grab the handle, the G-spot curved end pushes up into the anterior wall of your pussy (or ass, if you're following the ass-play route) right onto your G-spot. As you push it away from your body, it mimics the "come hither" motion that stimulates the entire length of your G-spot's body, from deep to shallow. You don't have to grip it in one certain way to hit the right spot as you would with most end-curved dildoes-- it naturally follows the optimal route. This great design translates into less wrist stress, and eliminates the frustration that can result when your grip slips with a regular dildo and you lose the spot that was working for you.

In addition, the underside of the handle has little washboard-style ridges you can rub your clit against. As if that weren't enough, the Rock Chick comes with a one-touch waterproof bullet that nestles into a hole in the handle. I think the vibe is a nice touch, but just a cherry on the top of this very effective toy.

--Freya