So, you want to touch my pussy?

I am a juicy girl, and I will almost always get very wet when I'm aroused. But no matter how wet I may get, some additional lube will come in handy if you want to make friends with my pussy. There are a few reasons for this rule of thumb, and it's a complex mix of physical, emotional, and psychological. It's hard for me to explain this all to a sex partner before we actually get down, so I'm just hoping that if you would like to fuck me someday, you will read this and take note.

First of all, the issue of "am I wet" can be a huge psychological deal for me, on par with the issue of "am I hard" for most men. Even though it's possible for me to be very turned on without being terribly wet, lubrication (whether natural or added) is absolutely essential to a successful sexual encounter. Just as a man's dick will sometimes act shy, my pussy may sometimes be reluctant to juice up; lube is the perfect substance to smooth right over any discomfort that might arise.

It's a major mood kill if the person I'm making out with snakes a hand down my pants, forces a finger into my not-yet-wet pussy and starts rooting around. Though it is sometimes physically possible to move fingers around inside a not-wet-enough pussy to stimulate the production of wetness, it's not the ideal way to go about things. A finger going into a dry pussy hurts. Even if it doesn't exactly hurt, it's certainly not pleasant to feel the tenacious cling of only slightly moist flesh on a dry finger. There's a reason it's hard to work that finger in-- it's not ready yet. We're talking about some of the most tender, delicate, sensitive flesh on the body, and this flesh has a memory. A finger entering my not-wet pussy can trigger the sense memory of every hurried, uncomfortable, unfulfilling sexual experience I have ever had. Once that happens, I'm not thinking about what a hot time we're having anymore. My internal dialogue bounces between being self-critical for not being the instantly wet sexual goddess of everyone's dreams, and being pissed at my partner for not being sensitive to my anatomy. But I realize that most people aren't being insensitive-- they just don't know. (This is why I am telling you now.)

So maybe you've poked your fingers into a not-ready pussy once or twice in your day. Don't worry, I'm not upset with you. I'm really glad you're with me, now. You might even feel a little hesitant to approach my pussy, for fear that you won't do it right, or for fear that you might hurt me. Don't be scared; just be willing to take gentle direction if I offer it. Don't be hesitant to ask me what I like or how I'd like it. Communicating about sex can be difficult and downright scary sometimes, but the rewards are totally worth it.

I'm pretty possessive of my pussy, and I often like for my partner to ask if it's okay to touch it. (This may feel awkward or contrived to some people, but it's just something that works for me. It makes me feel safe, and respected.) Sometimes I may crave a good finger-banging, and other times I might want to skip the manual stimulation entirely in favor of an intense genital grind. These are two entirely different flavors, with different resultant orgasms, and I like to have a voice in the decision.

So how do you determine if my pussy is wet enough to enter? A "wet check" can be approached in a very sensitive, sensual way. If we've been making out for long enough that you think it's appropriate to explore that territory, cup my entire pussy in your hand. Don't go inside-- not yet. Squeeze it. Feel how hot it is. Tell me how hot it is! Press your palm onto my vulva and cup four fingers underneath. Stroke my lips and gently press them into the indentation of my pussy's opening. Don't go inside-- not yet. I really love to grind against your forearm or your thigh between my legs. Let me set the pace and find the right degree of pressure, and once I've found it, rock with me. Kiss me. Lick my neck. Bite my nipples. Pet, tap, or rhythmically press the soft cushiony part of my mons right above my slit. Use a feather light touch to move my still-closed lips back and forth over my clit, which is right underneath that spot. With my clit, the lighter and more gently you can touch it, the hotter I will get. By now, if you've been gentle and you've taken your time, my pussy lips are probably starting to swell and there might be some moisture seeping out. Press your middle finger very gently along the entire length of my slit-- chances are it will yield to you and my pussy will invite your finger in.

If I'm not wet enough, my pussy lips probably won't part. This is a great time for you to reach for some lube. I promise I won't be insulted. I love lube. I love the way it feels on my pussy and I am not shy at all about putting it on. And it's really, really, really okay. I promise.

Even if your finger finds my pussy to be all glistening wet, it's still a good idea to ask me if I'd like some lube, or at least be open to the idea that I might like to add some. The texture and quality of my natural lubrication is variable from day to day; sometimes it's thin and slick, other times it's more viscous and quite slippery. It evaporates much more quickly when there's more in-and-out action, fast movement, or friction, so slow and gentle movements will conserve the precious natural resource. Even if I'm totally soaked and juice is dripping down my inner thighs, I'll probably want to add lube at some point during the fuck, if we intend to linger at all.

This is probably an appropriate time for a few words about my clit. I really prefer to be in charge of touching it. (And this will be the subject of my next post!)

If I ask for lube, it doesn't mean you're not doing a good enough job turning me on. It doesn't mean you're not a skilled lover. Both "hard" and "wet" are states of physical arousal, but they tend to operate on vastly different timetables. A guy's cock will be hard and straining at his zipper within the first few moments of a hot makeout session, and my pussy will just be starting to swell and unfold. Sometimes I'm wet before the first kiss, and other times I don't get wet enough no matter how turned on the rest of my body feels. Lube helps me get up to speed and enjoy the ride.

--Freya

Comments

[Jim]

Now, THAT was interesting.
Thanks.

[Seb]

A very interesting post about pleasure and pain wich is too frequently imposed to females by males.

Courageous to say you're not agree!

Women are human beings, they're not sex machines.

Congratulations!

Ps: I beg your pardon for my miserable english, but i'm frog eater.

[Javier Cervantes]

Yeah...I had to blogit, what unbelieveably great advice. You have done every man who reads this a great service, or should I say, you have done a great service to the future women of every man...lol

[Laurie]

very re-assuring, sounds as if I'm doing everything right. Its one of the mostwonderful moments of lovemaking to slip a finger lengthways along the slit push the tip gently until it sinks onto the juices of a warm moist pussy, mmmmmmm.......

[Tineface]

A Must Read for every horny male on the planet 9-99, Come on make us happy boys!!!!!!!!!!

[CurvaceousDee]

A very useful post - and one which I should send a few people to look at! Some delightful imagery, as well :)

xx Dee

[bill single]

I love your site since I found it from Megite Adult News http://www.megite.com/index.php?section=adult

[don]

I will admit that I've poked my fingers into a not-ready pussy more than once. As I got older I began to realize what that meant, and now I poke that finger right out again. In fact, I consider that first finger in the pussy as a test, like using a meat thermometer.

If it slides right in, things as coming along nicely. If it doesn't, back off and do a few more minutes of foreplay. Or get down there and start using your mouth.

[edtime]

I loved this post. It really did explain a problem I was taught a while ago. This should be required reading for any lover.

[LubeViagraDildo]

U working 4 some lubricant factory, dont you?

[Ian]

Wonderful and honest item. Actually, all your items are beautifully and sensually addressed. You're utterly adorable. But, having been there and done that, it was a bit of advice that all men should heed. And, it doesn't matter how wet it is on the outside, that isn't where it really counts. Thanks